


things learnt best in storm

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Astraphobia, Cuddling & Snuggling, Ereri Secret Santa 2015, Fluff, M/M, fear of thunder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 22:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has a secret—he’s afraid of thunder. Eren finds out when he stays over one night. Fluff ensues.</p><p>Written for Ereri Secret Santa 2015. Merry Christmas!</p>
            </blockquote>





	things learnt best in storm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bfketh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bfketh/gifts).



_“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”_

_— Willa Cather, The Song of The Lark_

-

Levi can’t sleep.

And no, it’s not because of the sleeping figure sprawled out on the couch next to him. Eren had passed out around the forty-minute mark of _Kingsmen: The Secret Service_ , which Levi found to be highly ironic considering how he’d practically begged Levi to watch it with him. If it had been any other night, Levi might have noted somewhere in the back of his mind, how—admittedly—adorable Eren looks in his slumber, his mouth slack-jawed and hanging open, and attempted to banish any treacherous thoughts that cloud his mind with every passing second that he’s together with Eren.

Though Levi thinks, the fact that he’s sharing a couch in a darkened room with the boy that he’s been having a massive crush on for a full four months now—maybe a little bit _in love_ with—would suffice as a better reason for his lack of sleep.

No, the reason lies right outside the window: an ominous threat lingering in the sky, taking the shape of a brewing storm, forbidding grey clouds gathering on the horizon that crackle with lightning—and _thunder_.

Okay, so _maybe_ Levi Ackerman—who’s known for his trademark resting bitch face that practically spells _death_ and a tendency to overuse swear words, as well as the ability to remain stone-cold in the face of any Disney movie _ever_ (except for _Up_ , that one got way too emotional)—happens to have a fear of thunder. _Maybe_.

He glances at the still-glowing face of the television, where the movie is frozen in the midst of some fight scene. It’s the only source of light in the room, its quavering beam casting the room in a blue glow.

Outside, he hears the forbidding, but distant echo of thunder.

Levi imagines a great dark cloud—one that rumbles and rolls its way over the horizon and with every second passing, bringing with it an ever increasing volume of thunder.

He closes his eyes, feels the thrill of fear that passes down his spine, and wraps himself tighter in his blanket.

Of course some fucking storm has to blow out of goddamned nowhere on the weekend he’s staying over at Eren’s.

Actually, it’d been more of a spur of the moment, impulse decision. They’ve been staying back a little later on Fridays when they have band prac, since regionals are coming up—and on this particular Friday, Eren’d casually asked if he’d like to stay over for the night.

“It’s late, Levi,” Eren’d told him, practically pleading with those green eyes of his as he’d packed his clarinet away. “Plus, you haven’t crashed at mine for a long time. Just stay over tonight, okay?”

 _There’s a reason for that_ , Levi’d thought, but even without the unnecessary pleading—without the use of those _absurdly green eyes_ —Levi would have still been weak to his plea. He grumbled back to Eren’s house and through a spectacularly late dinner, even all the way through the two movies and well after the rest of the family had gone to bed, leaving both of them alone ( _alone_ ) downstairs in the dark, until all he was painfully aware of was the way Eren looks in the dark, lit by the blue of the television in a mystical sort of way—and the agonising thudding in his chest against ribcage.

Minutes pass, and he still doesn’t know what time it is, because getting up to check would mean leaving the cocoon of blankets he’d built around himself as a way of protection from the incoming storm. He wonders how long he’ll have to wait until the storm passes, listening to the rumble of thunder in the distance getting louder with every passing moment. How he’s going to get himself out of this shitty situation.

Curse him and his idiotic fear of storms.

It starts pouring, sheets of rain washing down from the skies above, pattering against the windows and roof, the rhythm of the rain fast enough to match the speed of Levi’s heartbeat.

He swallows. His throat feels much too tight and dry.

If only he had his iPod with him. It’s how he drowns out the sound of thunder—listening to loud songs to pass the storm until someone tells him it’s safe to take them off.

It sounds pathetic. It _is_ pathetic, really, but there’s no other way that he could’ve tried to survive all the storms before.

Levi decides to take a risk. Slipping out a careful hand, he leans forward to take a glass of water sitting on the table. His fingers tremble around the cold surface of the glass as he brings it to his lips, when—

The sound is hard to describe—but it feels as though the sky is being ripped apart violently, into shreds. He gasps, flinching as lightning explodes across the dark night sky outside.

The glass falls out of his limp grasp, hitting the rug with a loud clunk and spilling water out over it, but it rolls harmlessly to a stop somewhere near the edge of the table.

He clamps both hands over his ears, convulsing all over—but it’s a kind of shudder that seems to come from inside, shaking him to his very core, as if the entire world around him had shook in the aftermath of the shock.

 _Fuck. Fuck—this is bad, fuck,_ is what he thinks. _Remember, remember what they told you about panic attacks, 4-6-7 breathe, inhale for four, hold six, exhale seven, inhale four, hold six, exhale seven._

Shuddering with every inhale, Levi manages to repeat the breathing exercise carefully. He hears a softer, but definite crackle of thunder, and backs himself into the cocoon of blankets, squeezing his eyes shut.

He feels something tug at his blanket—his eyes fly open in horror. Shit, Eren’s awake, he can’t be seen like this, trembling and pathetic-looking in the dark, shit—

“Levi,” he hears Eren’s voice, soft and laced with the befuddled undertones of sleep, slightly muffled, given that Levi’s clamped both hands over his ears.

Levi closes his eyes again and curls into himself. _Go away,_ he thinks. _This is so fucking stupid I don’t even want to—_

“What—” he hears Eren behind him, sounding more confused than ever. “There’s water all over the rug, what happened here—Levi, did you drop this?”

There’s a soft thump; presumably Eren has put the now-empty glass back onto the table. Levi doesn’t answer; doesn’t dare to move a muscle.

Another mild crackle of thunder, and a fearful shudder traces its way down his spine. His heart clenches up at the sound, and he presses both hands over his ears a little tighter.

A hand pulls his blanket back, and Levi opens his eyes to face a bewildered Eren, face lit up in the glow of lightning, his hair tousled from sleep, and _this is really not the time to be thinking about such things_ but Levi’s heart gives a stutter anyways, and he swallows, pulling the blanket back over him.

He hears the inquisitive lilt in Eren’s voice as he asks, almost filled with wonder, “ _You’re_ afraid of thunder?”

“Shut up,” Levi whispers, turning away from him. He scoots further away from Eren, backing into the corner of the couch when he feels a hand clasp his shoulder, a firm but gentle grasp.

“Hey—”

“Go back to sleep, Eren, I’ll be fine—” Levi snaps, just as another crackle of thunder resounds, this time louder. He inhales sharply at the sound. “Shit.”

“You’re _not_ fine.”

“I can deal with this myself.” He turns back towards Eren, eyes flashing, almost with a sort of desperation to _please leave me alone, I’m already in a bad enough state—_

 _Boom._ Another loud crack of thunder across the sky that makes him feel like all his entire body is positively _quaking_ from the inside—fuck. In a state of panic, he grabs the nearest thing possible, which just so happens to be Eren’s hand.

He feels the other boy stiffen in shock besides him, but all he can feel is the fear rippling through him, and Eren’s hand is warm, and big, and impossibly soft.

His grasp on Levi’s hand is limp at best, but he feels the way it seems to tighten with every passing moment of the storm, grip unyielding and steady, anchoring him to the safe space between them.

They stay like this for a little while. Thunder still booms, but it’s in relatively short flashes, and it’s easier to deal with when he has something to hold on to, even if that means it’s Eren’s hand, but he tries not to think about that. His heartbeat is already as fast as it can possibly be.

But of course when he tries not to think about it, he does, in between flashes of thunder and lightning and his own shuddering heartbeat, with every moment that Eren seems to be squeezing his hand a little tighter—because it’s _Eren fucking Jaeger_ that’s holding his goddamn hand.

If you told him this morning that he’d be holding hands at— _fuck,_ he doesn’t know, three in the morning, with the boy that he’s been nursing the biggest fucking crush on, he’d have laughed in your face.

“If you’re so scared of thunder,” Eren speaks up suddenly, “how do you deal with this all the time? By yourself?”

“Yeah.” Levi lets out a soft exhale. “Alone.”

“Well—you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

It’s only in the morning after that Levi realises the underlying meaning beneath those words, but in the moment, he hardly has time to respond as the loudest clash of thunder resounds throughout the quietened room.

Fear seizes his entire body, and—fuck, he can’t think, but he’s letting go of Eren’s hand, hands flying up to cover his ears, _4-6-7, Levi, breathe, Levi, inhale four, hold six, exhale seven, inhale four, hold six, exhale seven,_ but he can’t seem to breathe no matter what he does and he can’t, he can’t—

He feels something warm drape itself around his body, covering him entirely, lips moving against the top of his head. He smells citrus, beneath it a richer smell of rain-soaked soil and inhales—Eren.

There’s something heavy resting against his head—Eren’s arm, which he’d thrown over Levi, as if to shield him from the storm.

He’s whispering words into Levi’s hair, words Levi can’t hear over the din of the storm, but his fists unclench at his side, and the breathing comes back to him normally. _Inhale four. Hold for six. Exhale seven._

Beneath his head, he can feel a distant, gentle thudding. Eren’s heartbeat _._

Levi presses his nose further into the worn-out, soft material of Eren’s sweatshirt, inhaling citrus fabric softener and the slightly loamy undertone of Eren’s natural scent, which is not at all unpleasant.

He sighs, staying quiet, inhaling Eren’s scent in, as he wraps both arms around Eren’s midriff. In return, he hears the startled, shaky inhale of Eren’s breath against his scalp.

Thunder fades away, growing fainter and fainter with every passing minute. Levi breathes in deeply. He listens to the pattering of the rain, a regular, monotonous rhythm that lures him into lethargy, feels the ever-constant, ever-steady heartbeat beneath his head. _This is a space of sanctuary,_ he thinks. _This is a refuge from the storm._

_This is my safe place._

-

He awakes in the morning to a steady heartbeat beneath his fingertips and a solid surface that is _most definitely_ not a pillow, under his head. Through the weak morning light that’s pouring in through the window, illuminating the room—the television is still frozen mid-scene—he blinks away exhaustion and darts his gaze around, trying to figure out what this unfamiliar place is.

The first thing he comes to realise is that the solid surface beneath his head is _Eren Jaeger’s chest_.

Levi startles. Blinks. Sits uprights in mortification and curses, as memories of the previous night come rushing back in a flood of regret and remorse.

He remembers now; this is how they’d fallen asleep, Levi’s arms loosely wrapped around Eren. _Shit_ —he runs a hand through his hair, leaning back against the sofa, sighing deeply. His hair, that Eren’d placed his lips again and whispered words of comfort into—

The same lips that are wide open and slack in his sleep.

Levi swallows and turns away, trying not to let any _other_ thoughts about what else those lips can possibly do invade his mind—

Just then, Eren’s eyes flutter open. He blinks blearily, looking up at Levi. His lips quirk up at the corners into a slight smile.

“G’mornin’,” he greets, voice thick with sleep. Levi swallows at the sound.

“Morning,” Levi says, clearing his throat. Eren sits up on the couch, the pile of blankets falling to his feet as he does. He grins and scratches at the back of his head, letting out a full-bodied yawn.

“About last night,” Levi says. “If you tell anyone, you’re fucking dead meat.”

He fixes Eren with a death stare, but the other boy chuckles and waves it off.

“Dude. I won’t judge, but you do know that it’s okay to be scared of something right?” He smiles, and his eyes crinkle up at the corner adorably. “Like—glass doors, I have this fucking weird fear of running into one whenever there’s one around, because I kinda did that when I was ten and—” He lifts up the hem of his pants to reveal a jagged scar running the length of his shin. “And claustrophobia—”

“Oh yeah, you’ve told me about that before,” Levi says, recalling an incident during band camp where the both of them had been asked to move equipment from the storeroom in the school’s basement. “You doing this to prove a point?”

“Yeah.” Eren smiles again, and Levi feels a warm surge of affection for the boy standing in front of him. “Just, you know, that no one’s infallible. Everyone has something they’re scared of.”

“I know that,” Levi says. “It’s just—thunder’s a pretty pathetic thing to be scared of. It’s childish as fuck.”

Eren laughs. “Try ducks.”

Levi’s eyes widen. “You’re scared of _ducks?_ No fucking way.”

“Childhood incident; we try not to bring it up,” Eren says, wincing. “Don’t ask.”

“I’m scared of flying,” Levi blurts. “And rollercoasters.” Eren nods like he understands the rationale behind it. “It’s just—this extreme fear of insecurity that I feel, whenever I’m on a plane or rollercoaster.”

“I get grossed out by holes—you know, when there are too many in one place, right? Apparently it’s not too abnormal—Mikasa says she hates them too, or something.”

“I kind of hate blood.”

“Needles,” Eren says.

“Germs,” Levi admits.

“Well, that one’s not hard to guess,” Eren says, and Levi’s lips can’t help but quirk up at the corner.

And for whatever reason, he finds himself thinking, _I’m afraid to tell you that I’m in love with you._ He swallows thickly—it’s some deep, irrational fear of his, that it won’t be taken seriously like the store-bought Valentine’s Day card in middle school that you know just gets dumped in the trash.

Levi’s not going to be that card. So that’s why he’s going to continue keeping his feelings hidden, hoping that they eventually fade away.

“I’m afraid to tell someone that I’m in love with them.”

He jerks up in surprise then. Eren is staring at him, green-eyed gaze meeting his, burning intensely with an emotion that Levi can’t identify. He looks determined, mouth set in a grim line.

“I’m afraid to tell them I’m in love with them, because—for the past few months, I’ve been playing this absolutely ridiculous cat-and-mouse game with them, waiting to see if they’ll return my feelings but—I’ve been waiting far too long for it to happen. Not…not knowing how they’re going to react. And if I don’t get over this dumb fear and—tell them that I’m in love with them, I might never get the chance to tell them.”

He moves closer then—so close that Levi can clearly see the tiny freckle beneath Eren’s right eye; pick out each individual strand of his eyelashes.

“C-can I kiss you?” Eren asks, tone hesitant, and his warm breath washes over Levi’s upper lip. A shiver runs down his spine, and he forces himself to look Eren in the eye, want blazing behind them.

“Just cut the crap and kiss me already, dumbass,” Levi says, and grabs Eren’s collar, pulling him flush against him.

Eren’s lips are slightly chapped from the dryness of the morning, but Levi doesn’t mind, his hand already snaking his way up to the back of Eren’s head, brushing the nape of his neck. Up close, he can smell the rich, loamy scent of Eren, washing over him as he leans further into the kiss. 

Eren kisses with a sort of burning intensity, the pressure on his lips telling Levi that he’s been waiting to do this for almost as long as Levi has. Eren whirls him away like a rainstorm—smelling of the way the earth does after a long shower, sending thunderclaps through his heart and sparks at his fingertips in all the places he’s touched Levi. Eren tastes like lightning and recklessness and the feelings Levi has been struggling to put in place for a long time.

So he might not have found a cure for his fear of thunderstorms, but at least he’s gotten over another fear of his.

**Author's Note:**

> stalk me here ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): www.iwatobitches-swim-club.tumblr.com


End file.
